So, I was at work today and listening to some music, and I'm not going to blow The Game (lol, which you just lost) (actually its name that tune I was talking about) that I have going with some people in my life, who also read this blog, so all you get are lyrics.
10 good reasons to stay alive
10 good reasons that I can't find
Oh, give me a reason to be beautiful
So sick in his body, so sick in his soul
Oh, give me one reason to be beautiful
So, i find that I relate to a lot of the stuff that she has written over the years, but this one really got me to thinking tonight. And I probably shouldn't have, like at all. I really sat down for a while and tried finding 10 reasons to stay alive. And I couldn't. Couldn't even come up with 5. I did get 3 decent ones, and one ok one. But... most of those are living for other people so that they don't have to suffer a loss of a friend or family member. So instead I apparently choose to stay here and suffer a little everyday of my life so that I don't cause someone else pain, even though the matter of my suffering does cause them pain. Now, I'm not trying to be all emo here, I'm really not, and I know that I'm probably going to hear about this later from some of my readers. But, I am having real trouble finding reasons for being alive, pretty much the only one that is truly keeping me here is my pursuit of love. And, I think we all know how much suffering and pain that topic can bring a person.
So, why I am writing this, is I would like you to sit down and have a real heart to heart with yourself some time in the near future, and try and figure out your reasons for being alive. Not what has kept you here, but what drives you to stay here. If you think about it, there is a really big difference between the two. I don't care if you share them with me, or anyone else for that matter. I know that my reasons are my own, and as much as I am into sharing a lot about myself, they are mine, and I don't ever want to make someone think that I am manipulating them by saying them (totally been accused of this in the past, and not even that long ago). And mostly because one of my reasons is so personal that, well, of the people who know about her, they would know how important she was to me, and... I should just close my mouth now, as anymore and not only will I have totally let it slip, but I'm going to be in tears again. So... Moving on...
I really hope that this doesn't turn into a nightmare for someone, I really want this to be enlightening and uplifting. A reaffirmation of our own existence. So try to think positively. And I realize how much of a hypocrite I am being by saying any such thing. But, Right now, I am trying to do the same thing. Failing horribly, but trying. And damn is that hard.
And to the one girl who will never read this. I love you, and I will never forget my promise. You were far too wise for one so short in years, and now you will forever be under my skin.
Lovingly Written By Charlotte
10 good reasons to stay alive
10 good reasons that I can't find
Oh, give me a reason to be beautiful
So sick in his body, so sick in his soul
Oh, give me one reason to be beautiful
So, i find that I relate to a lot of the stuff that she has written over the years, but this one really got me to thinking tonight. And I probably shouldn't have, like at all. I really sat down for a while and tried finding 10 reasons to stay alive. And I couldn't. Couldn't even come up with 5. I did get 3 decent ones, and one ok one. But... most of those are living for other people so that they don't have to suffer a loss of a friend or family member. So instead I apparently choose to stay here and suffer a little everyday of my life so that I don't cause someone else pain, even though the matter of my suffering does cause them pain. Now, I'm not trying to be all emo here, I'm really not, and I know that I'm probably going to hear about this later from some of my readers. But, I am having real trouble finding reasons for being alive, pretty much the only one that is truly keeping me here is my pursuit of love. And, I think we all know how much suffering and pain that topic can bring a person.
So, why I am writing this, is I would like you to sit down and have a real heart to heart with yourself some time in the near future, and try and figure out your reasons for being alive. Not what has kept you here, but what drives you to stay here. If you think about it, there is a really big difference between the two. I don't care if you share them with me, or anyone else for that matter. I know that my reasons are my own, and as much as I am into sharing a lot about myself, they are mine, and I don't ever want to make someone think that I am manipulating them by saying them (totally been accused of this in the past, and not even that long ago). And mostly because one of my reasons is so personal that, well, of the people who know about her, they would know how important she was to me, and... I should just close my mouth now, as anymore and not only will I have totally let it slip, but I'm going to be in tears again. So... Moving on...
I really hope that this doesn't turn into a nightmare for someone, I really want this to be enlightening and uplifting. A reaffirmation of our own existence. So try to think positively. And I realize how much of a hypocrite I am being by saying any such thing. But, Right now, I am trying to do the same thing. Failing horribly, but trying. And damn is that hard.
And to the one girl who will never read this. I love you, and I will never forget my promise. You were far too wise for one so short in years, and now you will forever be under my skin.
Lovingly Written By Charlotte
- Mood:
Guilty - Listening to: Brand New - Handcuffs
- Reading: Pride Entry's
- Watching: Upular
- Playing: Guitar
- Eating: Chinese food!
- Drinking: Green Tea
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